I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
