He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
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