So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
