Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
