You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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