i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
