Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
