I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
