YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
