I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
we're so committed to being not committed
I need to align my fucking chakras
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
