did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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