ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
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mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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