bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
