pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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