I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
