So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
