I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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