I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
