I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
