I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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