I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
