Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
