Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
