Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
do herpes really smell.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize