Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
