hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
