Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I know her cup size but not her name....
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
