end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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