Got a toothbrush?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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