You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
