i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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