yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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