There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
