My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We had sex on a dog bed..
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
