I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize