Sry I called you an 8
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
