Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
it hurts more in the daytime
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
