do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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