Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
