But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
