roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
