The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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