I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
