maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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