I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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