mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
