I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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