Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
