I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
