ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
