I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
