last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
