So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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