just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
it glows. i had to have it.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
