the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
