I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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