I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
zippers are such a cool invention
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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