Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize