great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
