wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
