last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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