Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
