You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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