I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize