God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
