Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
