So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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